Letter to Cool Publisher
To: [Cool Book Publishing Firm]
Dear [Cool Book Editor],
I am in the midst of writing a book which teaches how to live well while homeless. A review of your online catalogue reveals several similar books, including ['Nuther Homelessness Book], which gives information on being homeless in a traditional way, the life, to use a crude term, of a bum. My book will offer readers an alternative to this stereotypical lifestyle, and will make a nice companion to that work in the catalogue or on the shelf. I propose a lifestyle which has all the advantages and freedoms that attend a rent free life, without the social stigma. My guide will teach methods of being homeless undetectably, invisibly. A person living as I recommend will be welcome in restaurants, malls, schools and at social events. When he walks onto a car dealership, a salesman will try to sell him a car. He will be employable. He will have options to change or maintain his lifestyle.
I spent nearly five years, from mid-1996 to the beginning of 2001, homeless, or as I liked to call it with a distributed household. I had storage, shelter, mailbox, telephone, shower, bathroom facilities, cooking equipment, and transportation, even access to television, radio, computer equipment, and ac power. I had the essence of a home. It was simply more geographically scattered than is traditional in our culture. My techniques could be adapted to anyone's tastes and talents, and to the resources available anywhere.
I have enclosed a topic outline of the proposed book, several sample sections, and a self addressed stamped envelope for your convenience. There is no need to return any of the submitted materials. Thank you for considering my Survival Guide to Homelessness.
Sent: 5 November 2004
Names omitted to protect the guilty.