tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87525432024-03-10T01:40:37.021-08:00Survival Guide to HomelessnessNo matter where you go, there you are.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-32110401466511262442012-05-23T16:22:00.000-07:002012-05-27T03:37:25.560-07:00Holy Crap!I just got another long screed telling me that I must accept jesus or spend eternity in hell. Do you hear yourselves? Okay, look, save it for someone who wants saving, because I will never, under any circumstances, publish those comments. Here's a lovely film called <a href="http://vimeo.com/42507822">Stairs to no end</a>. Let it be my response to every comment of this type.<br />
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This does bring up an important point about homelessness. If you seek help for your physical problems (shelter, food, clothing) religious exploitation is never far away. If you legitimately want to believe, far be it from me to tell you not to, but you should not have to sell your conscience for a cot. If you are young and unformed in your philosophy, avoid indoctrination in exchange for comfort. The comfort is cold, and the mental game is hard to shake. The religious have been preying on the weak for a very long time, and they are very sophisticated.<br />
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When you are cold and alone the allure of an all loving, all forgiving, forever completely attentive caregiver is hard to beat. In the end, though, for most of the faiths that target the homeless and the young, you just become their tool, and get everything taken away from you. Stand on your own, and the rewards are your own.<br />
<br />Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-92078035384759331822012-05-14T12:56:00.000-07:002012-05-14T13:03:33.911-07:00Coming OutThe problem of coming out is the same no matter what secret you are hiding. When you are keeping something from the people you care about that is intrinsic to how you live your life, it means that you are alone. Being alone is painful. <br />
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You would not be keeping your secret if you were confident the people in your life were capable of understanding and accepting it. Coming out to people who don't understand or don't accept you can be just as isolating, just as painful, as keeping the secret in the first place, and if the people are cruel, it can cost you even more. <br />
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Anyone you come out to, you give a special weapon, a dagger designed to slip into you like a key into a lock. I came out to one of my coworkers, just that I had been homeless in the past and write this blog, and years later he'll sometimes give me a dig about my advice to use sex lube for a waterless shave. The sting of it is far more than he likely intends. That is the hazard. <br />
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My beloved grandfather did not understand that I had built a lifestyle I was proud of. He thought of me as a beggar, an addict, a failure. That image only changed after I was married, housed, with children. I know he loved me, but the pain of that misunderstanding is almost more than I can bear even to write about in this entry. <br />
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My father doesn't get it. He wants to edit my blog, and becomes irate with me if I choose not to publish his comments on my articles. I gave up trying to explain some time ago. Even the people that do accept and understand that I was homeless and unashamed, don't understand that I am proud of what I did, and of this blog. They don't understand how profoundly personal the blog is. There are exceptions, a best friend here, a relative there, sometimes my wife, but in the main it passes understanding. You, my readers, have shown a far greater depth of understanding than the people who know me. Strange, isn't it? <br />
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Everyone will advise you, unasked, unwanted. It is hard to prove to people that you are okay. There's something fundamentally wrong, immoral, unsettling, maybe unnatural about being happy and homeless. You want to explain it, because your story forms a foundation for your opinions and your values. You want to tell them that they shouldn't joke about the homeless, and that they shouldn't judge them. You want to tell them it could just as easily be them, they could face financial trouble that puts them out, too. You want to tell them there's more than one way to be homeless. There are dozens of solutions to the problem of shelter, and not all of them involve a mortgage. <br />
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You want to tell them, but mostly you can't. You can come out, but they won't get it. The people closest to you will use it against you in casual ways they don't even realize. It is like being the only atheist at a revival. It's like being the only gay guy in a group of married straight friends. It might be a little bit like being the only ethnic person in a white social circle. Even if they all forget it, you never do, and you always believe it informs how they treat you. You become forever separate. Every slight, intended or not, however small, starts the struggle over again from scratch. <br />
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So if I've told you about my homelessness, you should know that I've given you a high compliment. I've made myself vulnerable to you in a fundamental way. And if you are homeless, take care who you tell. Once they know, there's no going back.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-30756138321181102292012-01-07T17:45:00.000-08:002012-01-07T18:05:20.055-08:00You Never Leave the Places You've BeenI'm haunted by the memories of places I've been, choices I've made, sufferings and pleasures. I'm still thirteen years old, joining a cult that promised love and acceptance, emotional treasures I, an awkward, bookish boy, had never elsewhere found. I'm still seven, watching a spider wrap a fly as my parents shouted out the end of their marriage. I'm still seventeen, wandering through the Perris night in my first doomed bid for freedom.<br /><br />I still live in my car, years after founding a family and renting more permanent digs. All the police, and criminals, and false friends linger. It's still my wedding day, the days of the births of my children, the day we got the autism diagnosis. It's the day my wife left me, and the day I left my wife. It's today, my kids and wife in the ocean, me on the shore, scribbling this essay in the front leaves of a book. It's all those times, together with thousands more. Time doesn't exist in chronological order.<br /><br />When you make truly significant life choices, remember this. Before you join the military, or commit a crime, use drugs, or get married, or choose to try homelessness, remember this. Some of these choices are a crossroad, and the direction you choose will change you forever, for good or bad. If you choose to be homeless, you will never be as committed to your social place as you once were. You will know you can leave. The traumas and terrors, and time and freedom, will be in your dreams and on your mind in the middle of work days, on social occasions, and in quiet moments. You'll know things others don't.<br /><br />Treat your mind as a museum you must curate. Choose carefully the exhibits. Once they enter the collection, they aren't going anywhere.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-15385238113474048892011-10-03T16:00:00.000-07:002011-10-03T16:24:15.787-07:00Boat Living<strong>(by guest author Jibbguy)</strong><br /><br />Living near the water, there is another option to cars... boats. A cheap old fiberglass boat (sail or power), of 22 to 26 feet, can be gotten very cheaply these days (i got my sailboat for $400). Even boats made in the 1970's are often still seaworthy (always make sure they are fiberglass, "wood" requires far too much maintenance).<br /><br />Boat living is not living without shelter, but you face most of the same problems as the homeless. You are definitely discriminated against when living on a small boat, and are treated exactly the same as others who live "off the grid".<br /><br />Some unique problems are: Very good anchors or concrete moorings are needed. Make sure the anchor lines do not chafe. A dinghy is needed to get back and forth to shore. An old canoe or kayak works well and they are cheapest. Stay away from inflatables (they don't last long and are thief magnets). The older and cruddier the dinghy, the better. <br /><br />You can also be hassled by the various forms of police when living in boats. The main issue, is being able to prove that your on-board "porti-potty" gets properly emptied at a marina or by some other legally accepted means (receipts). You must also be able to prove that you have a working engine, or a viable set of sails and rigging. The good part of this is, once you can prove these things, they must leave you be, and generally do. Sometimes they require an anchor light to be on all night. For this, the best solution is a solar-powered garden / walkway light for about $20. Never buy something that has the "marine" title to it, it will cost at least twice as much. <br /><br />The biggest expense and trouble is finding a place to go into shore with the dinghy, to get water and charge a battery (solar panels are very useful), and having a safe place to leave the dinghy while on shore. The cheapest way is to cut a deal with a local resident on the water for a monthly fee... and if they have a WiFi bridge transmitter set up, you can get internet access as well (it travels pretty far over water). Otherwise, you must pay a marina a fee. <br /><br />The upshot to boat living is, you always have a bunk, it is fairly private and quiet, and it is often in a beautiful environment. But it is "camping"... fairly primitive camping at that. <br /><br />A great item to have is a plastic water bladder that absorbs sunlight to heat the water for a shower. Called "solar shower", they are invaluable. Ways to capture rain water are also important. <br /><br />The propane stoves mentioned elsewhere in this guide are best. Alcohol marine stoves are generally not very good and take forever to cook something. Cook stoves make a decent cabin heater in cold weather. <br /><br />Always pick an anchorage that is protected from all sides; so no large waves can come in depending on the wind direction. I know many people living on small boats, some for decades. It is a unique lifestyle. Not "easy", but probably no harder than "car life" and once set up properly, it can be fairly reliable and un-stressful.. and you are "cheating the system" by paying no utilities or taxes.<br /><br /><strong>Concerning Bad Weather</strong><br /><br />The issues with bad weather generally are about your mooring or anchors. Even well-set multiple anchors can drag (and the lines can chafe through), and you may end up on a rocky shore or some other bad place. Usually, you will simply end up on a mud or sand bank and its no biggie. What the oldie "insiders" do, is take an old truck wheel rim, cut-down 50 gal drum, or some other steel thing, and pour "wet-drying" concrete inside it to create a permanent mooring (or use an engine block). But there is no "ownership" of moorings... someone can come along and take it if you happen to leave for a time. Likewise, you can find an abandoned one and use it. Some marinas rent moorings on a monthly basis (and include shore amenities like bathrooms, etc). But this is generally too expensive, not much cheaper than renting a dock. <br /><br />Hurricanes are very bad of course, and the thing to do is evacuate before they arrive... there are shelters available for the general population to stay in.<br /><br />I guess the thing is, if you do this as suggested, you will probably have no more than $1,000 invested total. So if a big storm does sink your boat, it is not too huge a tragedy. For instance, most of the costly stuff (laptop, solar panel), can be taken with you on shore. FEMA might even pay you for the loss.<br /><br />Even in a good anchorage that is protected in all directions, you will get small waves from high winds. These are not really dangerous, just uncomfortable. For this reason, people who get sea-sick easily are not recommended for this lifestyle... even if the boat never leaves the harbor. Same is true for those who get claustrophobia.<br /><br />We here in the Keys have nice weather year-round. But boat living up North is a bit different. Any body of water that freezes in the winter, cannot be lived on then.... although some do try, using "bubblers" to blow air around the boat under water, that keeps the ice from touching the hull (this only works in totally still areas with no current, and it takes a lot of electricity).<br /><br />But i guess one of the most important factors of boat living, is "location". There was a Supreme Court decision a few years back that upheld the right of people to anchor where they like, as long as they are not a hazard to navigation. So rich folks can't have the local police "move you along" if they don't like looking at you. But they can do it in other ways, such as limiting access to shore. Some towns are boater friendly, some are not. Generally, where you see a lot of small boats anchored, is the better place. <br /><br /><em>Many thanks to Jibbguy for this superb introduction to the alternative of boat living.</em> <a href="http://en.wordpress.com/tag/windisch-steve/">Click here to see some of his other writing.</a>Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-65500318686174386302011-05-28T06:54:00.000-07:002011-05-28T07:12:30.550-07:00Play Against TypeShowering in my own apartment I looked down at my hands. I have cuts and nicks scattered across their fingers, calluses, worked in dirt that won't wash away, and a burn from an errant bit of molten metal on my right index finger. When I look in the mirror I see I am sunburned across my forehead, cheeks, and the back of my neck. I'm wearing a beard and mustache. I look homeless. <br /><br />That's okay. It's okay because I have a union job and a place to lay down at night. When I was actually homeless, I would never look like this. I'd be manicured. I wouldn't have a sunburn because I would have made careful use of sunscreen and I would have kept out of the sun. I would be clean shaven.<br /><br />The Hollywood set calls this playing against type, and it is an essential skill. Imagine yourself a fugitive from the law, which you actually are if you are homeless. The last thing a fugitive wants is notice. I don't care how rich he is, Grizzly Adams gets noticed when he walks into town. For the same reason that you must be comfortable lying, you must maintain a look that is cleaner than the rest of society. Don't wear torn clothing. Don't get tattoos or visible piercings. Don't participate in fashion counter-cultures. Look normal, only better.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong. I am not morally, politically, or personally against any kind of fashion statement. I am not only accepting, I'm eager to see. This is survival advice. Fashion statements are for those who don't need to blend in. Fashion is for the rich.<br /><br />I have the great luxury to look homeless because I am not, and everyone knows I'm not. They see me in my work clothes and work truck and they know I'm a union man. The homeless look is a look of prestige if it belongs to a union man. It's stupid, but it is what it is. Mind games, subtle psychological nudges like manicured hands and a close hair cut, are important tools for getting what you need done each day. Play against type. Look good.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-76965182983563957032011-04-23T13:45:00.000-07:002011-05-21T16:24:25.405-07:00How to Solve HomelessnessI get too much praise for this blog. The praise is extreme. I think I have an idea why. I'm one of the few people that doesn't try to give you a path to leave homelessness, and that is a welcome relief. I don't try to save you. I don't humiliate you.<br /><br />Homelessness is isolating. No one understands what you are going through. People who know you are homeless are constantly trying to cure you of the condition. Cure you, like you have a disease. They have telethons, church fundraisers, comedians get together and have television specials to raise millions for the homeless. By the way, where the heck did that money go? Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Whoopie Goldberg, if you are reading this, please explain how <a href="http://www.looktothestars.org/charity/74-comic-relief">Comic Relief</a> ever assisted me, or really anyone.<br /><br />The first problem with relief efforts is they reach the rich. It's easy for a donor to find Comic Relief and make a donation, but it is very, very hard for Comic Relief to find a homeless teenager, figure out what that child needs and provide it, even if the charity had unlimited funds. The second problem is the charity is deaf in a far more profound way than a person might be deaf. Deaf people find ways to communicate, form communities, learn to listen with their eyes and talk with their hands. Charities, by contrast, and I don't mean to single out Comic Relief, never talk to the people they are "helping". They are deaf, blind, and stupidly attached to their assessment of the problem.<br /><br />As a homeless person, I do not want someone to feed me. I do not want someone to house me. I do not want a blanket, and I will not work for food! You have to ask me what it is I need if you want to have an effect. As a homeless person, I am not even trying to find a way out of homelessness. It is too simple to say that I was going just fine until someone took my shelter away, and now I am in chaos. If only someone would give me back my shelter the chaos would abate. Nonsense. I'm not in chaos. I have a definable set of problems and giving me shelter won't solve them. It is only a tiny piece. Furthermore, I don't want a cure for my life. Most people who write to me who are homeless chose homelessness. Homelessness was their answer to another problem, a foreclosed home, a lost job, a catastrophic disease which left them bankrupt and disabled, an abusive family, a lack. Alas, this is the hardest thing to explain. Homelessness was a positive step toward solving other problems.<br /><br />Robin, Whoopie, Billy, I love you guys. I watch your movies. I like your stand up. I could do without <a href="http://theview.abc.go.com/">The View</a> but you can't please everyone all the time. I don't expect you to solve homelessness. It doesn't need solving. People who are homeless could use some help sometimes, but you have to listen and see and think about how to offer that help. Money and laughs won't do it. You are just salving the guilt of society. Don't do that. Society needs to be uncomfortable.<br /><br />I've thought a long time about what would be useful to the homeless. We need public toilets. Not filthy portapotties, but proper restrooms that are private and clean. We need safe places to sleep. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsule_hotel">Capsule hotels</a>, which are found in Tokyo and some other places in the world, would be most excellent. The rooms should be very cheap, and I mean five bucks is too much. They should be subsidized, and there should be twice as many as there is a demand for them. They should be extremely secure, and you should be allowed to stay for as long as you want. We need showers. Safe, secure, single occupancy showers. Those are answers that would help people.<br /><br />If cities want us off the streets, they should offer these alternatives. They would be cheap and easy.<br /><br />Teen runaways who declare that they are without guardianship should not be treated as criminals, and should not be compelled to live a criminal life. They should be issued cards which confer the right to work upon them. Forget child labor laws. They have a perverse outcome, effectively forcing children to become prostitutes, drug dealers, and thieves. Emancipation should be an on-demand right for all children.<br /><br />Get rid of laws which forbid sleep. Who are you kidding? Those laws contribute to the meth problem in this country. Those laws destroy lives.<br /><br />You want to solve problems? Homeless people have problems, they are not the problem. Don't treat them as something that needs a cure.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-28542428340920450012011-04-18T20:59:00.000-07:002011-04-18T21:45:58.261-07:00Running AwayWhen I ran away from home, I knew nothing about how to make my way, homeless or sheltered. I had a few skills, but very few that could easily be converted to money. I didn't know what challenges I would face, and I had no idea how much danger I was in.<br /><br />I was bullied in grade school, and I quit high school when I was sixteen, a year before I ran. The alienation I'd learned from this fueled my decision to leave home, but did not teach me how to do it. I ran naked, no money, no work, no future, no plans, no rights. I survived by luck. Had my environment been even a little bit more hostile, I should have died.<br /><br />My early bouts with homelessness cannot be termed anything but failures. I escaped my homelessness by relying upon friends to take me in. It took years before I found my own way, and in the process I became every kind of victim.<br /><br />Homelessness, while it falls frequently upon the weak, is not for the weak or the unprepared. Teen shelters are virtually non-existant, and if they do exist, you wouldn't want to be in them. They'd resemble youth authority jails or group homes, and either model is miserable and dangerous. Adult shelters will not accept a teenager. They come with too much legal murkiness, but in any case adult shelters are horrible even when kindly intended. I spent a week or so in a place called 1706 House in Hermosa Beach, California. Their chief mission was to intervene with the family and get the teen runaway to return home, and they had a two week policy. You could stay there for two weeks, but then you were out, for good. Nothing comes up for them on a Google search now, so I can only guess that the outfit folded. No loss. They served the system, and were indifferent to the individual.<br /><br />I look back on this time with a detached horror. I can hardly relate to that earlier self. When kids write to me asking me to help them run away, I never know how to respond. The one thing I know is that they should never run without a plan. You have to know where you are going, and how you expect to earn money. Without that plan, your survival will be a roll of dice.<br /><br />I learned to survive homeless simply by increasing my knowledge in a general way. I had far greater analytical skills when I was twenty eight than I had when I was seventeen. I had the experience of teen homelessness to inform my meditations. Perhaps most importantly I had a driver's license, a car, and the right to legally work. Those are powerful tools.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-36648179375772284532011-03-27T12:14:00.000-07:002011-03-27T12:44:12.295-07:00The First Time I RanI write now about my family property in Perris, CA. The darkness at night is only mildly mitigated by the lights of neighboring properties. It is alive with sound, dogs, the crowing of an insomniac rooster, crickets, the hoot of an owl, the lowing of a steer, the engines of a jet. People who have never lived in the country imagine a quiet and serene place, but nothing could be further from reality. The stars are bright, much brighter than in the city, and they light the landscape eerily, stark, black sillouettes of trees cast wild shadows as if reaching out to seize passersby. It is a beautiful place to have a campfire and watch a meteor shower with a group of friends. On the night I left though, it was a place to strike fear in the bravest of young men.<br /><br />At that time I believed myself the bravest of men. Seventeen and willing to face down anything. Seventeen and not willing to be dominated by parents. Seventeen and ready for war, but even so, knowing how weak I was.<br /><br />I knew in advance I would be caught. I knew I would be caught before I left the door of the trailer I slept in. I knew, too, that with the knowledge I gained from the first attempt, I'd get away the second time.<br /><br />How can I tell the story? I was seventeen, and I had not yet conquered all fear. I was terribly afraid of dogs, of my father, of myself and what I might be capable of doing in my adolescent pain and rage. I ran not only for myself, but like a werewolf, I ran away from the people I thought I would hurt if they caught me at the wrong time.<br /><br />I set out around 3:00 a.m., in a night of noise, and the baying of dogs seemed to follow through the darkness. Hell's furies could not have terrified me more. It was several miles to town, and I had only the vaguest idea how to get there. I had taken the back route, over dirt roads, to avoid my father if he noticed me gone during the night, but I deeply regretted the decision as the baying of the dogs seemed nearer and nearer, and the darkness seemed almost complete, closing in on me like a physical thing.<br /><br />I ran, fear making the sweat from my exertions stink and cling to me. My only thought was that I must reach town before the dog pack found me. I was lost, though, in the deep darkness so like a nightmare. I only knew the direction I had to run, and the notion that I had gotten turned around and lost even my sense of direction was too chilling to contemplate.<br /><br />Finally I found the main road, and the light of the sign of a Circle K was as welcome to me as the sight of land to a person in a lifeboat. I went in and asked how to get to the town, and the clerk told me I was nearly there and how to finish the journey.<br /><br />My father picked me up at the Greyhound station the next morning. I cursed myself for being so obvious, and began to plot my next escape, barely noticing the angry dressing down my father directed at me.<br /><br />I was running to be homeless. Nothing could stop me. The pimps, prostitutes, thieves, drug dealers, cops, social workers, preachers, and various other villains didn't scare me. They were waiting, but they didn't scare me. Only the baying of family pets, joined by the pets on the surrounding properties frightened me. Only the dark and lost feeling I had brought real fear.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-81878682850189099792011-03-05T20:38:00.000-08:002011-03-05T21:24:39.630-08:00Current Status of the BlogPeople often ask about the current status of this blog. In one word it's idle. I haven't found a publisher. I haven't converted it to a book. I haven't written a post in a very long time.<br /><br />The blog, as it stands, seems to keep finding new readers and maintains a gratifying amount of response. I continue to moderate comments to keep away haters and spammers, but most of the comments are positive and get published. I occasionally get requests for personal advice, and I do my best to answer questions, but in the end, remember, there are no experts for how you should live your life. None but you.<br /><br />If I had stayed single, I would probably still be homeless, but I decided to start a family at the beginning of the millenium, and accordingly I changed my lifestyle. It wasn't easy. I still miss the way things were in the way that nostalgia always pains you. You forget the hardships of youth, and remember only the freedoms. Mostly you forget how lonely you were.<br /><br />I've done alright for myself. I've got a middle class, union job in a recession. I've got a wife and two sons with some special needs. I never bought a house, but like most Americans, I often can't see any options to the way I am living. I rent and I work. I go fishing. Last year I caught two white sea bass, one 25 lbs and the other a whopping 40 lbs, on the same trip. It was one of the great thrills of my life.<br /><br />I do projects for a local museum. I'm planning to go gold panning on the central coast of California just to try to find color in the pan. I'm going to go hunting for jade near Big Sur. I'm teaching my older child a very fast method of multiplication called the Trachtenberg system. Google it if you like math. It's good stuff.<br /><br />My younger child has autism but is so bright he'd make your head spin, and so charming he makes George Clooney seem like a dork. He taught himself to read at better than a second grade level when he was four, even though he could not speak in sentences and no one was teaching reading to him. He's a genius hidden inside a closed box. One day I hope to help him find his way out.<br /><br />In the end, everything changes. Everything changes all the time. That is the great lesson of my life. It is the lesson I've been learning all my life. I've been a teen runaway, an artist, a student, a homeless adult, a criminal, a friend, a cult member, and an atheist. Well, I'm still an atheist. No benevelent living god would create a world so difficult, so painful, so <em>competitive</em>. Of course, that's beside the point. God or no god, life is, and we are responsible for making it as good as we can, even when the world is determined to be stacked against us.<br /><br />We are not responsible for how hard the world is. If you feel like giving up, if you want to die, if you have lost everything, I hope you'll come here and read my post Controlling Desperation. That is my manifesto. In the end, if you wait, every problem that seems permanent will change, and you will find a way through. Never give up. No matter where you go, there you are, and <em>that</em> makes you wealthy.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com56tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-20566631667387591602009-10-03T13:46:00.000-07:002009-10-03T13:51:06.083-07:00New Nonsense BlogIf you like my writing, and not just the subject, I am starting a new blog. It's going to be a free, all subject blog. I'm going to write science lessons for my son, movie reviews, political pieces, and articles about stem cells and saving cord blood. I'm going to write anything that comes into my head. Hopefully it will be entertaining. Please check it out.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1161024669662610962006-10-16T11:40:00.000-07:002011-05-20T00:16:26.246-07:00Content ThievesA brief note to all of you who are minded to contribute to charity, please don't contribute to Homeless Advocate, a blog. In this <a href="http://homelessonline.blogspot.com/2006/08/tuesday-june-20-2006-look-at-this.html">post</a>, they have reprinted a post of mine, made it look as if I am one of their contributors, and placed a request for donations at the bottom. They did this without my permission, and have ignored my attempts to contact them, and refused to publish my comment at the bottom of the post.<br /><br />Very nice, "Rabbi" Dale. (One of the comments below argues that Dale is not, in fact a rabbi, as he claims.)Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1151195469488053412006-06-24T17:19:00.000-07:002007-01-05T10:54:25.633-08:00Request for Reader CommentsWithout a doubt the most scandalous, most commented upon, and most joked about suggestion I've made in this blog has to do with getting a good, nearly waterless shave. I suggest a dab of generic sex lube and a thimbleful of water to help the razor glide over your skin.<br /><br />I've never had a complaint about this advice. No one has ever told me that it didn't work well for him. That is because no one has admitted to trying it.<br /><br />Come on.<br /><br />Are you afraid the cashier will think you are having sex?<br /><br />And the downside of that is?<br /><br />Someone who has tried it, tell me, was it okay? Is it now part of your survival skill set? What did you think?Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1150849861064430502006-06-20T17:12:00.000-07:002006-11-21T13:43:31.350-08:00Changing Your LifeIt has been said before, but it is worth repeating: the homeless problem is the problem the housed have with the homeless.<br /><br />I was just reading a terrific little <a href="http://www.chrisdiclerico.com/2005/04/01/meet-corey">blog item</a> about a kid in Washington that had managed to set himself up as a computer consultant using a Starbucks wifi network while homeless. When Starbucks was closed, he spent the night at Kinko's. He scrounged for food and computer equipment. He worked for tips. He kept himself very clean. He surfed the internet for girls. In short, he had created a lifestyle. The blogger who was writing about him gave him a substantial amount of money hoping he would change his life. Of course, he couldn't understand why the wifi kid spent it on computer equipment.<br /><br />The blogger couldn't understand it because he refused to acknowledge that this man had a legitimate and sustainable lifestyle. When given money, he reinvested it in that lifestyle, as any responsible, reasonable person does. The blogger was angry at him. Why, oh why, didn't he struggle to get a home? The man was already home.<br /><br />Homelessness changes you. So does having a house. Your priorities become the priorities of the extant lifestyle. What you do with money has much to do with how you are living. All lifestyles are investments, and we continue to add resources in an effort to improve their performance. Abandoning a lifestyle is something we never do without a serious push. Once a lifestyle is comfortable, why should it be abandoned?<br /><br />This is another reason that charity is so unsavory. It comes from a position of superiority. The charitable feel they have a right to determine the goals, purposes, and uses of their charity. It lacks dignity. I don't mean for the recipient. I mean it is not dignified to try to direct the lives of others, to be so involved in the details of other lives. It's a failure to understand boundaries.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1150346847389116912006-06-14T21:26:00.000-07:002006-06-16T07:21:03.326-07:00Homeless in AustraliaI just had a question from a reader about wild foods, bush tucker, in Sydney. I'm from California, and while I hate to be provincial, I have no idea what is growing in Australia. How can I advise someone on how to find bush tucker on a continent that boasts marsupials and crocodiles as its natural icons?<br /><br />Hey, that reminds me of a story about the first Europeans to make landfall in Australia. I've heard they died of starvation with food all around them. Don't let that happen to you. You have to know enough to recognize the bounty at your feet. That's what this whole blog is about. Learning to have some insight into how a home and comfort are achieved, with or without societal assistance.<br /><br />Rely on experts. Learn native skills. Listen to locals. Realize, though, that when someone is an expert on one thing, it doesn't make him an expert on everything. Think critically.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1150096765768840612006-06-12T00:01:00.000-07:002006-12-05T12:32:39.416-08:00Wild FoodsIt's worth knowing which weeds and decorative plants are edible in your part of the country. In southern California I often breakfasted on eugenia berries, included dandelion leaves in a salad, or roasted their roots for dandelion coffee, or snacked on natal plums or the rather bland fruit of the strawberry tree. Wild blackberry is a treat not to be missed in the northwest. In the Spring if you can run, just after Easter abandoned rabbits are fairly easy to wear out, capture, and dress for dinner. If you know your wild foods, life can go a little easier.<br /><br />Be ready to be told that the berries you are eating are poisonous. If you know better, just ignore foolish advisors. I've been told eugenia berries are poisonous more times than I can remember, though I've been eating them since early childhood and every book on botany and horticulture notes that they are edible. On more than one occasion I've been told that a perfectly ordinary fig or strawberry was poisonous. Just figure that the foolishness factor on unsolicited advice is about 90%.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1134594103551460482005-12-14T12:35:00.000-08:002007-01-03T03:45:51.140-08:00Why Lying WorksOnce again I had a comment expressing fear of being caught lying. I don't know how to tell you that there is nothing to fear, but let me tell you why lying works.<br /><br />First, there is a social barrier to catching you. It is embarrassing to catch someone in a lie. It is almost impossible to call someone a liar outright. When people do, it's a shock to everyone within hearing. Even if you are caught, most times the person who caught you will participate in a cover story. You might not get the thing, whatever it was you needed, but you also won't face retribution for the lie.<br /><br />This is contrary to our sense of justice. We believe that if we break the rules we will be punished if we are caught. That simply is not the case. Power and social constraint are much more powerful ideas than justice. You must apply the right paradigm to your circumstances if you want to understand what is happening. Justice is the wrong paradigm. The power of social regulation, over the other person, not you, is the right paradigm.<br /><br />Second, and perhaps even more important, it takes work to reveal a lie, and most people are simply too lazy. I worked on a school paper while I was in college, and one day an advertisement came in for placement in the paper that denied that the Holocaust occurred. My editor wanted to run the ad, on the basis of free speech. I opposed, but said if he was going to run the ad he should at least allow me to investigate the source and the citations in the ad and run my resulting story next to it. He agreed and I set to work. The first thing I did was look up all the citations. There were quotes of Elie Wiesel said to have been printed in the NY Times, so I looked up the dates offered. The NY Times is archived in just about every university library, so it was easy. There was nothing. Elie wasn't there. I went through every page of the issues cited, even the classified ads and the coupon supplement. Nothing. I looked for books mentioned and could find no reference to them anywhere. As far as I could tell, they didn't exist. So I called the advertiser.<br /><br />I told him I was having a little trouble with fact checking, and asked if he could send me clippings from the papers and copies of the books. He laughed and said that in the many years he had been publishing this ad, no one had ever asked him to prove his citations. I told him that without proof of his claims, his ad appears to be a libel to Jews, and he quietly withdrew his request to publish it.<br /><br />This is an example of the method used for evil. It is as powerful when used for good, the good of your survival. The plain and simple truth is that fact checking requires effort, and most people won't put that effort out.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1128282335826596122005-10-02T12:35:00.000-07:002007-01-05T10:57:03.880-08:00Comments Restored!Last night I spent a couple of hours cleaning comment spam off the blog. The crap was everywhere, money quick scams, male enhancement scams, weight loss scams, even designer shoes and motorcycle sales. I must have had fifty comments to remove, all from the same six or seven people, scattered over all the posts that I have in my table of contents. So, without delving into the kind of psychological disturbance that drives a person to do that to a blog, I've suspended my comments, because I can't be bothered to clean this crud up every day.<br /><br />For my loyal and kind readers, we've been lucky. The blog has been here for more than a year and this is the first real assault it's received. If you have something to add to the blog, a post or comment you'd like to make, some tip to pass on, email it to me. I've been attending to things better around here, and if I think your words are valuable, I'll make a post or a comment and credit you.<br /><br />Sorry for the inconvenience. I'm hopeful it won't have to be permanent. Such things are like storms. They pass.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1125778345573037332005-09-03T12:43:00.000-07:002007-01-24T03:18:25.166-08:00The Big EasyLike many of you, I've been watching the news about the New Orleans disaster with sorrow. We knew that New Orleans was vulnerable, and perhaps some people therefore blame those sufferring now for having stayed at all, but each of us lives near to disaster most of our lives. The rich in Malibu regularly slide down the hill when the season of fire, rain, and mud takes their houses, predictably. All of tornado alley is unlivable if your criteria is some kind of storm safety, and that includes quite a few states. Washington is persecuted by a volcano, California by earthquakes, New York by terrorists, Chicago by hard winters, Florida by disease carrying mosquitoes. This world is not safe, and never will be, so we live where there are people and opportunities that make our lives good, regardless of the local dangers. I feel tremendous sadness, loss, and regret that I never visited the Big Easy before it was changed by hurricane Katrina. I hope it somehow recovers.<br /><br />I don't know if the relief efforts have been competent, or if they've been all they can be. That's for politicians to argue about, news reporters to ask pointedly, petulantly, about. Who cares? For the people in the city, relief efforts have been mostly absent, and people who stay in the stadiums and on the flood free grounds, do so at their peril. There has never been a better example of what not to do in a homeless, refugee situation. Never, ever, ever, head into the central processing areas of a disaster. Don't do it. Remember, "shelters are for someone else" is a principle that applies equally well to disaster shelters and to homeless shelters, run by government, church, or FDNY. No matter how well intentioned, they become hells.<br /><br />The only thing to do is to leave, and some people have been leaving. They walk out. They swim out. They leave without food, clothes, shoes, half naked, scraps for possessions, with fast friends around them for a little protection. They leave the zone as quickly and carefully as possible, because the only thing that matters is to get out of the disaster alive and unharmed. Work out the rebuilding process from a safe distance.<br /><br />Good luck to you all.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1124356228900095632005-08-18T01:55:00.000-07:002006-04-20T11:50:08.083-07:00An Advanced Course in LyingI was at a theme park the other day, and I decided to test some interaction theories I have. I was riding a small ferris wheel and while it was unloading, I was bored. The thing can only unload a few cars at a time, and the rest of the riders spend quite a long time waiting. My two year old son sat next to me, also bored, so I reached out to a strut next to the ride bucket and pushed, causing us to swing. It wasn't too long before the ride attendant noticed the motion and shouted out.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hey, why are you swinging?</span> By which she meant that I was not allowed to swing my bucket.<br /><br />I said, <span style="font-style: italic;">Hey, I really don't know. You know I think the people in the bucket above me did something to set me swinging.</span> By which I meant that there was nothing she could do about it. There was nothing the people in the next bucket could do that would remotely affect my ride, much less start me swinging. Nothing. The idea had no credibility at all. The attendant knew it. I knew it. The people in the bucket above me knew it.<br /><br />But I said it implacably, unhesitatingly. It was impossible to contradict me. As difficult as it is for most people to lie, it is even more difficult to challenge a lie put forward confidently, no matter how obvious the lie is. Often an obvious lie is more powerful than the truth, because the truth is reasonable. Truth can be challenged, where lies must simply be endured.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1124355266808810712005-08-18T01:47:00.000-07:002006-04-20T11:53:08.316-07:00Personal UpdateHi friends,<br /><br />You've asked about me repeatedly, for months now, and I have ignored your pleas for an update. I'm sorry. I've been under severe stress trying to maintain my family and finances, the kind of stress that homelessness allows you to avoid, but my family gives me a great deal in return. I'm in a scramble for money all the time, but frankly, I've never been a beggar, and this blog was starting to make me feel like one, so I took the Paypal links out and invested my energies in other ways. I am afraid I don't think this book idea is ever going to happen, so I need to find other employment.<br /><br />That isn't to say that I am abandoning the blog entirely. It is often on my mind, and I have a few new ideas. Regular posting hasn't been something I am willing to do just now, though.<br /><br />Thank you to all who've shown concern for me. I'm sorry I haven't responded. I've been a bit depressed.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1110310324153469472005-03-08T11:26:00.000-08:002005-03-08T11:32:04.156-08:00Basic MathWhat is poverty? Poverty is when your needs and expenses exceed your income.<br /><br />What is wealth? Wealth is when your income exceeds the demands of your needs, your desires, and a little extra for savings.<br /><br />There are only two ways to rise from poverty to wealth. They are to earn more, or reduce the costs of your needs.<br /><br />Six hundred dollars a month is abject poverty if your expenses are six hundred and one dollars per month. It is amazing wealth and luxury if your need demand is three hundred dollars per month. Simple, basic math. Earn more, or spend less to grow rich.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1109887488053853452005-03-03T13:54:00.000-08:002005-03-03T14:33:26.223-08:00Do NothingThere will likely be moments, long dismal moments, when everything seems empty, when all possibility seems to have vanished, and when your deepest desire is to simply vanish. The feeling, if it is truly profound, is one of hollowness. It is worse than melancholy. It is the essence of powerlessness, and this is the feeling inspired by true, clinical, depression. This is the backbone of suicide, and people can be brought to it by long hours of self criticism, blame, hunger, cold, and sadness.<br /><br />If you get to this terrible country, first, do nothing. You think that the feeling will persist forever. It won't. It can't. Before you know it you get an idea, and that gets you thinking about something else, and then you think of something you'd like to try. Oh, you may sink back into the empty spot, but the worst part about being there is the feeling that it will go on forever. Once you know it goes away, it gets a little easier to take.<br /><br />When the hours ache and linger, when the mind is poisoned with hurt, when the night is very cold and very dark, and when you can think of no where to turn, do nothing. Change will come.<br /><br />Until it does, take a hot shower, and use some deodorant. Depression causes us to release all kinds of stinky pheromones.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1109795995061471422005-03-02T12:34:00.000-08:002005-03-02T12:39:55.063-08:00A Note to International ReadersThis blog is heavy on advice that works in America. This isn't because I am an egocentric American that doesn't realize that not everyone is from Los Angeles. It's just because I only write about what I know, and I haven't been most other places. If I talk about a solution like the Automobile Association of America (AAA) and you have some alternative for another part of the world, please, I implore you to share it.<br /><br />That's what comments are for.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1109745969467839102005-03-01T22:35:00.000-08:002005-03-01T22:46:09.470-08:00Simple StuffKeep identity documents, car registration and insurance card, and any credit and bank cards in a card wallet separate from your cash wallet or purse. This hardly needs explanation. It's a bad idea to lose both cash and identity at the same time. Carry the card wallet in a front pocket in your jeans or slacks. Front pockets are difficult to pick, not impossible, but difficult.<br /><br />If you haven't joined <a href="http://www.aaa.com/">AAA</a> (the automobile club), do so. They will get you out of a lot of jams. They'll give you a jump. They'll open your door if you lock your keys in. They'll tow you off the freeway. Good stuff. Oh yes, they will also copy your car key for you in plastic and embed the fake key in a credit card frame. Perfect for tucking into that card wallet.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8752543.post-1109315719011468712005-02-24T22:55:00.000-08:002005-02-24T23:15:19.130-08:00Who Are You?Self image and public image are inextricably, and probably inexpressibly, tied together. Who you are is really a compilation of facts you know about yourself, the judgments you hold about those facts, and your perceptions and beliefs about the judgments others will make about those facts. You're a boy, you're a girl, you're a man, woman, white, black, hispanic, American, Israeli, cult member, body dismorphic, gender confused, homeless, rich kid. You're none of that? Okay, you are some other oddball collection of facts that will give instant rise to emotional response in everyone you meet. The whole point of this blog is to help you get control of who you are, what that response becomes.<br /><br />If we were picking animal spirit guides, mine would be the chameleon.<br /><br />I've been thinking about a strategy that involves appearing to be a tourist. If you don't have anything holding you where you are, no people, no job, no great love of the scenery, it could be worthwhile to move your homeless household to a new city, a new state, and keep your old license and your old plates. Tourists are well liked because they take little, and spend a lot. Police are said to favor giving "warnings" to tourists, because they don't want to give them a bad feeling about the city. Business owners roll out the red carpets. You can get away with a lot with a camera around your neck and a fold up city map in your hand. Asking for help is easy; you aren't expected to know the ropes. This isn't a game I've played, except that as a tourist I've always noticed that a smile and a <span style="font-style: italic;">thank you</span> and a <span style="font-style: italic;">can you help me?</span> have had plenty of cache.<br /><br />Who are you, anyway? It isn't that collection of facts, but they are your social identity. Take over control of that collection, and make the impact you want to make.Mobile Homemakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01514644458931963694noreply@blogger.com4