A message to homeless teens
If you are a runaway in the United States, unless you have gone through a very difficult procedure to become emancipated, you don't have the right to work or make contracts. This puts you in the worst possible position, a position of artificial dependency, partnered with inexperience and physical awkwardness. You are in trouble.
It may seem that you have four choices: seeking charity, thievery, drug trafficking, or prostitution. Not one of these is an acceptable or sustainable lifestyle, but you may decide to try one or all of them. If you do, know this, it does not make you a beggar, a thief, a drug dealer, or a prostitute. You are who you are, the fiery, self-reliant individual who is aware that he/she has a right to be treated better than what was happening at home. You stood up for yourself, and now I want you to remember that you are worth standing up for. What you are driven to do by need is not who you are. You will prove that later in life. Believe it now.
I want you to think about your troubles one at a time. You must address the same needs an adult has, but you must do it with fewer social resources. You may not be able to get a car, so now think. Where will you find shelter? Consider abandoned buildings. Consider tent living at campsites or in national parks. Consider unused warehouses. Try to avoid people who will give you a place to live in exchange for sex. These relationships almost always end in violence. Getting a place for a night or two is one thing. Getting ensnared long term grows ugly quickly.
It is often possible to sleep on buses or subways. Bring a newspaper and hold it up in front of you while you doze off if transit police check for people sleeping.
How will you keep warm? Layers of clothing are very helpful. I recently heard an interesting suggestion from polar explorers. If the night is very cold, eat some butter or margarine. This keeps explorers warm in Antarctica, so it is worth considering. Blankets are good. Huddle up with other runaways, if you can find some to get friendly with. They are least likely to exploit you.
Know that you will be exploited, you will be stolen from, you will be victimized. Be at peace with that reality, and try to limit the damage. Try not to get hurt. Never seek revenge. This advice is not applicable to the jail or prison environment where an early show of violent strength may be critical to reducing danger in the future.
Do not use drugs. Please. Just don't do it. This is the time when you will become an addict, because life sucks, and drugs are such an easy and available escape. You must avoid this trap, or you will be paying for it for years to come.
You must survive till you're able to make some contracts, or get involved in the underground economy. You may be able to find work by making friends with Latino day laborers. They often know people who will employ you without documents. Try to obtain false documents that will establish your age at 18 or 19. If you succeed at this, buy a car at your first opportunity and follow the rest of my advice as if you were an adult. If you follow this path, you may take a great deal of pride in how you lived through being a runaway.
The most important thing I can teach is that this will change. Things will get better. Have fun every day. It will help you think. Do something silly. Each day you will find new solutions. Beware of people who want to take over responsibility for your life. What they offer is seldom worth what they want in return.
posted by Mobile Homemaker @ 1:01 PM
45 Comments:
Wow, it's really powerful to hear you speak to people's destinies like that. You're speaking things into being. There's a lot of authority in that.
I emphatically agree. I came quite close to a quasi-homeless status in my adolescence, and while circumstances led elsewhere, the prospect of it terrified and enthralled me. Reading this and other entries on your blog helps me understand the whys and wherefores of that ambivalence.
As a former employee of a municipal drunk tank, and as a current employee of the county library, I'm often on the other side of this perspective on homelessness, and in those capacities it has always been a challenge to remember and expound my personal commitment to compassionate public service, in environments not always supportive of that. A degree of ambivalence is essential there; but more importantly, an understanding of the inherent dignity of every human being, no matter on which side of the processing desk/plate glass, is indispensable. We all have to look ourselves in the mirror every day, just as we all have to live with our own memories.
I warmly support and second your empowering messages of dignity and responsibility. With great respect and thanks,
pjs
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
I thought it was really great how you actually gave real advice to homeless teens instead of just saying something along the lines of "I don't care, just don't do it." Nobody learns anything by being restricted from it, and I think the world would be alot better off if more people had that sort of frame of mind.
hypothetically speaking, of course, lets say you are fifteen, look fourteen, definitely dont have a car, and cant sleep in a subway every day, where would you go? not the shelter... not the shelter please...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
How can I find what the laws are concerning homeless teens?
Just as dangerous are "halfway houses" run by usually Christian organizations and their quasi-legal "foster homes." From 14 to 18 I was subjected to all manner of abuses you can think of for a (once) pretty, precocious girl.
The promise of a warm bed and regular meals is very tempting when you're 14 and you know there's no way you can go home. But beware of these places. They attract employees who have agendas, and right after raping your soul and body, it's destroying what modicum of self-confidence you had. All of course, all in the name of saving you. Saving you from your intelligence; saving you from your own body; saving you from the few things you had left to love.
I can only hope they are one day shown the same hospitality. But this--even this blatant, criminal abuse--can be better than what was at home. At least I walked away from this.
If you're a girl, think of any living relative you can and at least let them know what's going on. You may find yourself on the next plane there.
All of this is much, much more difficult for a girl to deal with. We're pretty and vounerable and oh so soft. But even with this perspective, I think you'd be better off trying your luck on the streets as this site suggests than in one of these places. I would have been.
They do ask too much, and I asked too little. I literally slept under the stairs, and should have left. So, guys, just stay the hell out of these places. The promise of a warm bed isn't worth it.
Trust me.
Reading this blog and the comments about the dangers of homeless teens got to me more than I realized, so for better or worse I guess I'm going to put my two cents in here. If you have a bicycle with at least a front mounted basket,(and a good lock),backpack,waterproof matches, a mylar emergency blanket(two is better, one for a ground cover, one to wrap in), or a tarp and some rope or parachute 550 cord,any type of energy bars, food bars,MRE's or accessories) you can seriously lessen your chances of being in such a vunerable position.
Almost forgot: sometype of handheld defense system-pepper spray,handheld Taser,etc.
Even without a bike,the other items can be purchased at surplus stores, sporting good stores or even Target, Wal-Mart stores.
I'm not homeless, however, I did 3 years in the US Army with an honorable discharge, I'm on the Internet and know where a lot of the good low cost surplus websites are. If I should ever become homeless,this is the way I would go. One more thing: If you don't have to run right away, then don't. Stay, save whatever money you can, get to a surplus store and start buying these survival items. I think you will be able to figure out for yourself what other survival items you will need.
My e mail address is carol.carol@iwon.com if you want or need any of the websites to check out(I only pick the cream of the crop)(smiles)
That's some good advice carol. One caution about the pepper spray is that in some states it is classed the same way as tear gas and unlicensed possession is treated as a felony. Another issue I have with weapons of any kind is that they can be turned to use against the owner, and they tend to increase the likelihood that you will stand and fight, rather than prudently running. Every fight I ever won was a fight I didn't get into. All the other fights harmed me in some way, even when I came out on top.
thanks ...i actually am a teen runaway...but i was confiscated by the police...was getting tooo low on energy...i had to runaway bcause of the treatments ot home...i was actually doing good out there...its the thing of being lonely all the time out there it hurts...been alone all along...i wish there was someone to runawaywith ...it probably be more eisier to have someone to keep you going tooo...this may have to happen again for me..thanks...and very good advice...i have yet to find a site with information about homeless teens...my email is included if there is anyone who would like to talk of it...
hello people.this is a verry good site.. it told me alot...im doing a speech in homeless teens and i needed some info...
i useto be homeless when i was 14 i have been on the streets for 6 months and it was tough..it was from march october. it was a good thing it wasnt winter.i feel really sorry for homeless perple now..now that i know how it is and feels... i actcully lived it i know what they bin through
I am glad to see a project going on for this cause. I was a runaway/house-hopper for 6 years, yes scince I was nine. I am glad that you warn people of the hazards and drawbacks yet at the same time how you teach how it can be easier witht the right procedures. I have personal advice for runaways however... And all homeless in general. You are never above a hand out, or a friend for that matter. I myself have met people who are ashamed of thier state, or assume that any kindness is an insult or taunt. I have found out that more often than not these offers are legit. Every now and then someone will preform a jerk of a move but belive me, help is more often than not a good thing.
Hey I am homeless but it is not that easy when you have a two year daughter that you have to worry about. My mom put me out in nov and I have been living with so many people that it is havind a side affect on my daughter and now I really don't have any where to go. what do you have to say about that!
I just had to come and tell you how wonderful I think you're blog is.
Mucho kudos, senior.
I was homeless for three months during this, my 17th, year.
I left out of a combination of choice and circumstance.
Luckily, it was springtime in eastern washington, so, seldom was the weather too hot to bear. Nothing a water fountain couldn't fix. (Dark complexion, no sunburns for me, hehehe.) Also luckily, I was only on my own on the streets for a week before I went to stay with my friend. But even then it was hard... I don't know if I have a word for how low, empty, and worthless I felt.
I've been depressed before, this was different.
Here's a thought, why not write a seperate article on ways to spend all that extra time. I picked up the AWESOME habit of reading. Many hours I spent at the library. After I tried the drug thing and almost got addicted to speed.
(Don't do drugs kiddos, espicially if you are in a situation like this, you will only be brought down lower.)
But anyways!
Paix ami
i got tears in my eyes when i read the post. both my brother and i ran away. me in a search for happiness and chasing dreams, him to escape his pain. we both took drugs (which i don`t recommend coz being a runaway you`re already very vulnerable and probably feeling lost and drugs make this worse) but he was into amfetamines and soon into heroine and i was into acid and xtc. now, 13 years down the line, he`s still fighting his addiction. rehab in, rehab out. happy for a while, then relapsing again,...
i`ve been lucky, i guess. nothing too bad happened to me. always seemed to have had someone looking after me, giving me a place to stay without contributing to the damage. i managed to work my way out of it and to be honest, the worst part was working my way out of my own head which was full of confusion, sadness and pain. but it worked... and each time i felt myself slipping back into the dark, the amount of time i dwelled there became shorter and the happy or content moments longer...
i`m 29 years old now and in my final year of a course in social work. i want to work as a detached outreach worker and be on the side of the kids and help them making their dreams come true...
it seams like when teeens g o missing there around the age of 18 or 19 and some times its the parents falts because they kick there teens out when there pregnat or if there even gay....
What's sad is people want to go into the "helping people" industry only to find out they are not allowed to "help". They have to follow the industry standards that keep people homeless and in despair.
The only th I don't like about this is: you really need to encourage these kids to find people who are willing to help them out of this instead of just helping them through this. In today's world you need an education. These kids need to find a way to finish school and get a job and have a productive life. there is soo much more to life than just surviving, there is LIVING! Now, I'm not talking about materialistic things, but you need money to buy food and shelter, to be self sustaining. I wish these kids all the luck to find there place in theis world.
you obviously have never experienced homelessness for yourself otherwise i think you would be a little less judgemental about homeless teens. i've lived most of my life in and out of shelters and was kicked out of my house at 16. i think that you believe people are a lot more hospitable and caring than they really are. you could have all the friends in the world...but do you think one person will take you in as a teen when you've got no where to go? if you try that...the police are always after you...and then what? go into some foster homes? yeah...right. you don't think kids on the streets are getting an education? anything but...they are learning everything they need to in the reality that they live in. for some people it is about survival...always about survival. sorry that some of us don't get to sit up on our fancy high horses...but you gotta do what you gotta do. he was giving homeless teens the information they need to know. raw...cold...facts of life. the little things he mentioned can help save a runaways life... you're right...they should find a way to have an education. are you going to pay for their schooling? pay for supplies...give them a safe place to do their homework? they don't need someone telling them what they need...they know what they need. if they had the means...don't you think they'd rather be in school learning about history...rather than digging through the garbage just to survive? what they need is people out there trying to change laws...who are willing to take them in...people who create organizations that will help them...no hurt them.
i believe that we all have a place in this world. who says that the homeless don't have a place in this world? who say that they don't have a purpose...or can't LIVE? we are all here for a reason...it's not up for you or i to decide...
i'm a 20yr old who was homeless at 16 and has been surviving since birth. my mother worked three jobs around the clock just to feed us and we were still homeless most of the time. she was the best mother she could be...she did the best she could with what she had. in the end...that all that any of us can do. do the best we can with what we've been given. if you've been given nothing...you've got to change your perspective of of what something is.
right now...i'm still living paycheck to paycheck. in college...trying to get through school. if it's one thing that i've found...its that having nothing...gives you a lot more motivation to find or create something. thats what i'm trying to do...create a better life. i'm studying to be an activist in nonprofit organizations...and i'm a full time volunteer for care corps. they help feed the hungry...and shelter the homeless. it may not be alot...but it is my contribution.
if history has taught us anything...it's that the leaders and revolutionaries in this world have overcome poverty and the worst forms of oppression and have arisen and changed the world.
I've been on the streets a couple times. It wasn't too bad except it was cold because it was winter. Stepfather always was a more-than-total jerk. I have a couple friends now that are still on the streets. Got kicked out for being gay and another for just being a teen. It's tough out there. And scarey. If you ever have spare change and you see someone who's homeless, no matter how little the amount GIVE IT TO THAM. You have no idea how much of a world of difference even just 5 cents could make. Hey, even an extra coat. Anything helps.
i just want to tell you how powerful the messages are on this board. I was a homeless teen - who managed to get through it without drug addiction, prostitution or compromising relationships. It was a struggle but it built charachter and it IS possible. I own a home now, have a wonderful child and a great job. While I have chosen a more "main stream" life - I used the tools you outlined here to survive and thrive in tough circumstances. The most important tool was hope, perserverance and a belief that i was not summed up by living situation and that i would triumph in the end. I only wish i had your site then to inspire me. You should be applauded for providing this information and hope.
I work at a non-profit organization for St Louis youth. Specifically, I work for their Emergency Shelter which houses runaways, homeless teens, adolescents in state custody, and youth facing a family crisis. The young adults I work with continue to amaze me and teach me important life lessons of resiliency and courage. Our youth are strong, insightful, and persistent. There are resources available for youth and I encourage those in need to take advantage of them. I'm disappointed in the programs that do not serve our youth properly and who do not recognize their full potential but please know this - there are agencies out there who are completely dedicated to assisting our young adults. I have seen so many adolescents discover their talents, abilities, and will to survive. I have seen so many success stories. The youth we serve deserve all the credit for their accomplishments and I thank them for allowing us to play a very small part - if not at least allowing us to witness their transformation. If you or someone you know are in need please call National Runaway Hotline 1-800-999-9999. They will be able to give nationwide resources. Please do not give up on yourself - you are worth more than you know.
First off, thank you. I've learned a ton within the past fifteen minutes!
Secondly, I'm wondering what advice you have on being a homeless teenager and wanting to stay that way- not wanting to get picked up by the police. Any tips would be great!
I'm confused by your question, Anonymous. This post A message to homeless teens is my advice to homeless teenagers. It's the sum of it.
We need your information about homeless teens, organizations, shelters, etc at our Volunteer US organization website. This is free for groups helping children in America.
http://www.volunteerus.org
I am getting the message that you are encouraging teens to become homeless, and I hope that I am mistaken in that regard.
An education should be a teens first order of business. An education is the key to getting what you want in life, not necessarily anything more than a GED, but some type of education is a necessity in today's world if you want to be successful.
Perhaps I am mistaken, and I hope so.
Hey, i'm 14, and I ran away last June. I've actually been doing well. I planned ahead, so I have everything I need to live without a home. I mostly camp out, doing odd jobs for spare change when I pass a town. Some days are great - some are just plain hard. There's a lot of really nice people in this country, and I'm so glad to have met them. Im not stupid though, I know that there's a lot of bad people too, but I do my best to stay away from them. I can fend for myself, and it makes me proud. :) Thanks for all the tips.
This has been the most helpful thing I've read so far. I'm serious.
I've been longing to leave for a while now. The two houses that I live in (My parents are divorced) are both psychologically and emotionally scarring in their own different ways. Sort of like a double whammy. I've spiraled down a path of supreme unhappiness and a need for something better, and this is the only thing I see fit because I've done everything in my power and my power is weak. I can't handle it. I have my escape all planned out; what I'm going to bring, how I'm going to survive, what about my appearance I'm going to modify so I cannot be easily identified, etc. There's a place I know, a square, and it's a haven for the homeless. I see them all around wherever I go. There are places to stay during the day--bookstores and cafes--and I'm certain that there are places to sleep. Of course, I'm planning on leaving when it's warmer out. But all I want to do is work on my novel in peace, because that's what my future holds for me. I'm bringing my laptop. I know there's a relatively big chance of it getting stolen, along with everything, but I have a solution for that. All I'm worried about is it being able to get published. Well, Social Security in general. Do I need my number to get by? Should I get a fake ID (I'm 14)? I'm going to have an alias until I'm 18, but what then? If you ever check your blog, please help me :(
I'm afraid that I have no experience with making false identities, but I imagine it has gotten harder since 2001. If you can, get your real birth certificate and social security card, and get a state issued i.d. You may find you need it if you want to apply for public assistance.
There's a place here in Ann Arbor, MI called Ozone House that's for teen runaways (HIGHLY recommended), and there's also the national "9 line" (sorry, don't remember the prefix-if it's 800, 866 or 888, but it's 999-9999 after that...)you can dial that anywhere in the U.S.
When you wrote this: "You are who you are, the fiery, self-reliant individual who is aware that he/she has a right to be treated better than what was happening at home. You stood up for yourself" You assumed all who have runaway are not being treated well.
People, please remember some runaways are or were already mentally ill and/or using drugs and alcohol that caused them to spiral downhill - some refuse treatment and medication no matter what the parents did.
Not all runaways are from "bad" families.
hey, i came accross this because im writing a speech about how "the system" seems to lose track of kids and they end up in horrible situations. my cousin did.
i use to work in a library so i know all of this for sure. if you are looking for a place to stay warm during the day and a little busy, public libraries are great- just dont start any trouble and no one will bother you. you can sit and read and occasionaly eat. they have bathrooms you can use to clean up and sometimes you can use the computer without a library card from that town. just dont try staying there overnight- the police will get involved.
hello its shan-wich again.... i love how you gave homeless teens some real advice. your blog really makes me think..and gives me hope. since i am living in a tent 4 miles outside of glenwood springs colorado, i have problems with bears and wolfs. i have found that i have to have a sharp knife on me at all times, i also found it helpful to keep a journal..to remember the good times. and smile about them during the bad times...<3
i am 17 i have been homeless many times and will be in one week. many people i love the most are also homeless right now and i dont think anyone could have ever givin me better advice and i am about to print this out and pass it on to loved ones thats good advice
This is really empowering stuff right here. Amazing job with this whole blog.
hi. i wanted to thank you for all the support you have given me without even knowing. im 15 and on the street. im happy with my life,but theres hard days. when i have those days i take comfort in going to the libraby and using the computer to read this blog. just so i feal less alone. i feal like after being told all day everyday im nothing yi feal so seprate from society. when i read this it lets me know thats wrong. thanks for what you have done for me.
Wow... I'm not homeless, but I AM 16 and this really spoke volumes to me. It was inspiring and comforting in a lot of ways. Thank you for creating such a great site.
this is a really great site, im only 13, and ive had some thoughts of running away, but i know that im not nearly as strong as all those that HAVE run away, i want to run away, but i feel i would miss my friends to much, i feel so much respect for those who have run away and im really happy for you that are doing well because i know that you deserve as good a life as all the rich kids out there, probably more then them even. <3
I'm a librarian too and ran across your blog while preparing for a display on emergency preparedness. Thanks for your realistic advice to teens. You write very well and should consider publishing a book based on your blog? Homelessness is something I only experienced for a week or so living in a car in NY when I was in my early 20's. I had lots of contacts and places to go so it wasn't the real deal. It's good to get a reminder of the hard realities as I see and speak to people who are homeless frequently. It's easy to get callous.
Wow. You know it really makes you think... Coming from a sheltered suburban youth, it makes me wonder about what it would be like to runaway and be alone. Difficult as it would be, I can't even grasp what it would be like to have no support system, family, money, or the will power to go on living every day. I hope that somewhere in the world that runaway teens have something to eat and somewhere to sleep tonight but I know that wouldn't be true.
In school we read the book Sketches by Eric Walters and it has a great story of 3 runaway teens who try to find there way. I now have to write an essay on it and it's deep. This is a tough topic. You never choose to live on the streets. And if you do choose there is some bigger picture everyone else is missing out on, whether it be horrible parents or some issues, there's most likely a problem that follows it. I'm sorry for everyone who ever has to go through hard times and can't just be a kid. I wish you could have what I have. Or what others take for granted.
i hate reading im 16 lol but you are trully amazing i actually read the whole thing and it was really powerfull ..wow! if you ever write a book i would deffenitly buy it..who wrote this blog anyway?
A survivor.
Thanks so much for posting this. I'm currently taking courses in Social Work, and this gave me more sensitivity and insight into the issue.
Hi, I am not homeless but I've thought about running away a couple times. Sometimes I feel as though no one understands me. I may not be speaking in the same view point as everyone else but I feel as though I learned something. High school is hard; drugs, sex, money, peer pressure and all the other things that add on to the stress of trying to get a good education. I met a man once who was homeless and he use to be in the same spot everyday. I met him when I was real young. At first my mom that I ran away from her but she saw me sitting there just watching him. Granted I was 6 years old so the whole don't stare rule didn't mean anything to me. But he was always really nice to me. He told me stories of his life and he told me something very important that I'll never forget. There is no such thing is I can't do something. It's either you don't want to or you don't know how. And I've gone by that my whole life. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let people tell u can't do something. I know I'm probably off topic but it felt really nice to share my story. And this year my mom invited my friend to thanksgiving this year. He said it's the first thanksgiving dinner he's eaten in 6 years. I was do sad. But sadly my friend was "hurt" by some people who think it's fun to hurt and "hurt" homeless people. The "hurt" means kill but I am not going to judge because it is not my place to. But thank you to all there who do help the homeless. And this is a very well written blog. I think I'm going to stay home for now though.
Post a Comment